Dedication

I’ve always wanted to lose weight.  When I was a little girl, I fantasized about blinking my eyes like “I Dream of Jeannie” and magically making myself thin like the other girls in school.  Later, I thought it required starvation or surviving only on carrots and lettuce and running two hours a day.  I couldn’t do that so obviously I couldn’t be thin.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that I began to learn about nutrition and calories and exercise.  I’ve spent the last ten years learning.  I have the knowledge.  So why haven’t I ever made it to my goal weight in that time?  Why have I lost weight only to gain back more.

It’s overwhelming, facing 170 lbs to lose.  That’s what I started at–at my highest weight I had 170 lbs to lose to reach my goal.  That’s daunting.  That’s scary.  That seems impossible.

It’s not. 

It takes dedication.  Dedication to my goals and to my health.  It takes a belief that I deserve to be healthy, happy, and attractive.  It takes determination and strategy.  It takes a lot of change.  I can’t go back to the way I’ve lived my life in the past.  I have to make permanent changes to my eating habits and make exercise a permanent part of my daily routine.

I cannot take it one day at a time.  That’s not for me–it let’s me make excuses that I’ll begin again tomorrow when I mess up.  That I can start over and make tomorrow my day one.  I can’t do that.  I have to be more dedicated than that.  I have to look ahead while living in the moment.  But I can’t look too far down that road–it’s still too overwhelming.  I no longer have 170 pounds to lose.  It’s down to 128 pounds to lose–but that is still so very much to face. 

Instead I focus on ten to twenty pounds at a time.  Those are milestones.  I  look ahead a week at a time.  A month at a time.  I set goals of 10% of my weight and I work towards those  benchmarks. 

It makes it more manageable.  It’s easier to renew my dedication when I can focus on those milestones instead of that bigger number–and as I work towards those smaller milestones, that big number gets just a bit smaller.  And so do I.

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